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Chicken fried head

CNN won't talk about the candidate's plans to address the deficit, global warming, or the growing divide between the very rich and everyone else as our once-strong middle class is crushed by the loss of good jobs. But they'll talk all you want about fried chicken!
A well-established Japanese photographer told me not so long ago that in his home country they eat Kentucky Fried Chicken for Christmas dinner. Somehow, the Japanese seem to have gotten it into their heads Americans eat Kentucky Fried for Christmas. Thus every year there is a mad rush to order Kentucky Fried Christmas Buckets. [...]
Ms. Katherine Ortega of Newport News, Virginia wants to know how a fried chicken's head ended up in her box of McDonald's chicken. I can guess how.
As I walked into the crowded police station, children in tow, I held my head down in hopes that no one would recognize me. After all, as the owner of a restaurant as well known for sharing Jesus as it is for serving customers the best fried chicken fingers in town, I should have known better than to exceed the speed limit by 22 miles per hour.
Twinkies, mallowmars, snickers, fried chicken... et al. Why do the skeevy stoners have the killer urge to eat junk food. You know who you are.