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The second one also has the no bebe, ni fuma lines, but includes ni goza which means that he doesn't have fun and ni come which means that he doesn't eat. I don't know about fun, but you can ignore the part about eating. I confirmed with Huckabee that Mormons do, in fact, consume food. Don't mind the part about the rabo ("tail") too.

Foregoing food for a day each month stood out among other religious practices in members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS or Mormons), who have lower rates of heart disease than other Americans, researchers reported at the American Heart Association's Scientific Sessions 2007.

Christianity gets Cola. Catholicism would be Coke, Protestantism would be Pepsi (damn, that worked out) Mormonism can be RC-Cola, non-denominational Christians can choose from Sam’s Club, Top Choice, Food Club, or any of a hundred other grocery store brands...

According to the LDS, my family of 1 needs to store 300lbs of grain, 25lbs of fats, 60lbs of legumes, 60lbs of sugars, 75lbs of dairy, and oddly, only 11 gallons of water. I guess Mormons don't get thirsty, and no wonder they're buying up all that land, they're gonna need it to store all this food.

MANY MAJOR BRANDS are affected. It's one thing when snotty kids die from peanut butter, but this is INNOCENT CATS and DOGS. Unlike crazy urban legends spread by crazy mormon Amway dealers (like Febreze kills pets), this one's for REAL!